Banks are fuelling a massive property boom in Beijing, the city the credit crunch forgot

Back in Beijing. The swish new airport: the traditional small idiosyncrasies. As well as filling out a landing card, you also have to sign a declaration that you have no infectious diseases, and hand it to an official who is wearing a face mask, just in case you are lying. Then the usual pig’s breakfast at baggage reclaim; this isn’t specific to China, it’s just that these days a two-stage flight gives you a greater than 50 per cent chance of having your baggage mislaid.

I park myself in a part of town where 20 years ago there was nothing but a socking great power station, but where they are now building the latest spiffy new business and shopping area. The new mall is full of Prada, Gucci, Ferragamo, the whole nine yards. Not many actual customers yet, though; just a lot of young female window shoppers, and the only place doing business is Starbucks. But it’s presumed that they will come. There’s a new Marriott and a new Ritz-Carlton too, although I have no information as to occupancy rates.

This city is awash on a tsunami of government money. I don’t think J M Keynes ever envisaged anything on this scale. China is the land the credit crunch forgot. The banks have gone along with the Zeitgeist and are fuelling, with easy lending, the most humungous property boom. I had guessed that the property market would keep rising until the Olympics and then run out of steam. Shows how much I know. Speculators have been making 600-800 per cent profits in the last 5-7 years. Prices are not quite Central London, but they’re certainly the better parts of Zone 2.

However, at the micro level things are not quite keeping up. Arriving at my (perfectly nice) hotel, I find the door-key doesn’t work, and they come back with four or five new ones, preventing me from having a much-needed shower and kip, and it takes an hour and a half to sort it out. Always the smiles, the unfailing politeness; always the complete inability to spot what needs to be done and to Do It.

One sign of modernisation, though: as well as the usual minibar stuff, the minibar offers condoms, both normal and vibrating (no, don’t ask me) and performance-enhancing oils and creams for men and women respectively. (This was a double room; I’ve no idea if the same is on offer in a single.) But it’s interesting that they’ve been forced to admit that sex actually exists, and that a billion and a half people weren’t found under gooseberry bushes. A step forward – or possibly not?